Ever Tire of Feeling Too Busy?
As a full-time legal secretary, wife, and mom, I felt busy. I longed for the days of retirement. People said when they retired there was never enough time for all they wanted to do. How could it be?
Now I know. With retirement in our lives for a combined 17 years, it seems each day reaches the brim of overflowing. Yet there are always things still left undone.
Add in my chronic pain and minor injuries (both of us) and it seems even more overwhelming. Facing surgery and recovery, I realize the time has come to make changes in my handling of this gift called life. Read with me for a few more paragraphs to see what my plans entail.

Achieving a Balanced Life
Balance is something we all count on in our physical world. Walking, running, biking, hiking, and any number of physical activities need good balance. Some of us have excellent balance, and some of us are likewise blessed, or not, with poor balance. I fall in the latter category (no pun intended).
Poor physical balance doesn’t mean I can’t have a balanced life. Life itself is:
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Incrementally divided by time and how you spend it;
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Affected by our activities, whether physical, creative or otherwise;
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Based on our relationships and others’ impact on our lives;
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Enriched by solitude.
1. Time and How We Spend It
Due to chronic pain and an unhealthy spine, I’m spending far more time on the computer than I should. Both sitting and standing are painful so those options aren’t as available to my writing as I’d like. Besides my writing, there is a newsletter and blog post reading. Then comes social media and email correspondence keeping me current with writing friends. Social media also helps keep up with family. More and more, everything requires a computer.
Bottom line, too much of my time seems front and center with my laptop. And I’m beginning not to enjoy it so much. You might say it’s because of my current spine pain and impending surgery but that’s not what I’m feeling. It’s what I’m going to call “computer burnout.”
2. Activities, Creative or Otherwise
If I’m going to be able to sit more comfortably after surgery, I want to quilt! If I could have a day or two a week in which I cut quilt pieces and sew them together, I’d be a happy camper quilter. And improved sitting means I could play the piano more often. Improved standing means I could work on my flute music. Both of these I miss because of (drumroll, here) “computer burnout.”
Also, I volunteer as a mentor in the Mothers of Preschooler program at our church. It requires only two Friday mornings a month, but there are other outside activities. Then new births among our group which include cooking for the family until mom is back on her feet again. Case in point: One of my mentees this past year gave birth to triplets. Although they were born in May (quite early in fact), they are just beginning to transition home. We’ll be cooking for them soon.
A great love of mine is being a “groupie” for the bands my husband makes music in, among them a Dixieland jazz group. I enjoy getting to know the other members and their spouses. And it’s great fun helping now and then hosting refreshments at a concert.
Bob and I enjoy supporting our church home and family in many ways. Each which requires a time commitment. This is something I’m not willing to give up yet.
3. Relationships and How They Affect Your Life
If I overload my day, I easily grow frustrated and a bit testy (don’t ask Bob what he calls this, OK?). This isn’t fair to Bob, especially if he’s in the middle of a new design project or new music or whatever he’s engaged in. My frustrations taken out on him make him feel less important than he truly is in my life. And it works both ways.
Time for keeping our relationship rich and loving should always be at the top of our list.
Friendships need a similar consideration. We never should take out on a friend our daily frustrations. Keep this in mind and you’ll feel better and so will your friends.
Don’t forget family, including children, parents, siblings, and even your pets. They don’t deserve to receive the brunt of your disgruntlement. And most importantly, they need to hear you say, “I love you.”
4. Solitude
Bob and I both tend to be introverts. Solitude is important to each of us. And one’s desire for some alone time doesn’t bother the other. I probably have the advantage here. Bob has music rehearsals two nights per week plus an occasional Sunday afternoon. Concerts and performances come at odd and random times. As I mentioned above, I love to go along and support him.
We are both avid readers. Often we find solitude sitting in the family room reading. Soft classical music may be playing in the background. It’s amazing how you can find solitude in the same room with another person. We spend many pleasant hours that way in our home.
Solitude is an important part of self-care and we need to bring this to the forefront of our own well-being. Time to reflect on your life, values, memories or to spend time in meditation is healing in many ways. Don’t ever forget to take care of yourself.
Conclusion
I’ve taken a long time explaining myself (sorry!). What I need you to know is that my posting schedule with the blog will soon change. In fact, I missed posting last week.
Starting today, I will be on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media sites much less than usual. I will continue to participate in a few groups a bit more actively because of their relationship to my writing.
Beginning with this post, I’ll be posting every other week, when possible. Surgery, recovery, and rehab will dictate sometimes. Those who requested my posts via my newsletter will arrive as they always have. When I post, you’ll receive it under cover of my MailerLite account.
My newsletter schedule will change as well. The newsletter will no longer come out on the third Wednesday of the month. Instead, I plan to make my newsletter quarterly rather than monthly. This change will take place beginning in October. The first quarterly edition will arrive in your inbox on Thursday, October 4, 2018.
I hope you will each take the time to review your own lives and commitments. Take time to look for balance, harmony, and joy in your life. If it isn’t there, figure out why and then make whatever changes are necessary.
Featured image:
Sherrey … I applaud your efforts at “balance” … as you may have noticed, I gave up my blog a year ago, and haven’t been on social media in months. That left more time for my real life instead of my virtual life. I miss my “writing friends”, but I follow them through their blogs. I hope your surgery gets you back on your feet (or chair) pain-free.
P.S. Kent and I were married two weeks ago today … perhaps a consequence of focusing more on real life!
Mary, how glad I am you stopped by! And before anything else, congratulations to you and Kent on your marriage. Bob and I just celebrated 37 years, and we can attest to the quality of wedded bliss on real life. With my illness and other issues in our lives as we age, I decided it was time to have time for us and for me individually. Best thing I’ve ever done. I still want to publish my memoir, but need to wait until I see the status of things with my back. I’ll email you with more details, and I love to hear back from you about what you and Kent are doing these days. Much love, Sherrey
Quilting and solitude sound like a good pairing. I agree with others, you know yourself well.
Time is a precious commodity. Cheers to Sherrey!
Yes, precious commodities indeed. Thanks for stopping by and forgive my delay in replying. Doctors’ appointments have kept us busy lately. Thanks also for your continued encouragement as I try to push forward.
You are making wise decisions, Sherrey, and your words are a great reminder to the rest of us who need more balance and self-care in our lives. Thank you!
Joan, you leave words of encouragement and support affirming my thoughts and decisions. I hope you know how much you and your words mean to me.
Blessings, Sherrey. You are taking wise steps and know yourself well. Healing thoughts and prayers.
Your blessings are a true gift, Shirley. I always appreciate your encouraging words and treasure your willingness to keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
I understand balance. Trying to do it myself. Writing and it’s promotion can become all encompassing, leaving little time for quote. Life” best of luck.
Boyd, how nice of you to stop by. I agree writing and it’s promotion can consume one’s life while you’re not looking. Life is so much more important as we grow older. Thanks for your good wishes.
Take care of yourself, Sherrey. Best of luck with your surgery.
Luanne, thanks for your support and encouragement.
Sherrey, you do what is best for you. Take care of yourself. I had to smile at how Bob would describe your “testiness” as I’m sure John would say the same about me. I’m facing knee surgery in the future and the pain I feel causes me to be, let’s say “edgy.”
I look forward to your updates when you can.
Joan, glad I brought a smile to your beautiful face! Our men do have a different vocabulary when describing our “edginess” or “testiness,” don’t they? Sorry to hear you’re facing knee surgery and are in pain as you wait. I’ll keep you in my thoughts. Thanks for your understanding and encouragement.
Sherrey, I applaud you for your clarity and courage in making the changes you need at this time. It all boils down to honoring your priorities. Sending prayers and blessings your way for successful spinal surgery and ongoing peace of mind. Your words have lasting, far reaching impact whenever you share. God’s speed my dear friend.
Kathy, my friend, your words are rich and affirming. I appreciate especially your use of the words “clarity” and “courage.” I often wonder if my thoughts make it to the page with my true feelings. Your prayers and blessings are a welcome gift. I treasure your friendship and your faith constantly.
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