Life in the Slow Lane

Contemplating life, faith, words, and memories

A Collection of Mini Memoir Reviews — April 26, 2022

A Collection of Mini Memoir Reviews

It has been a while since I’ve posted reviews of memoirs I’ve read. Perhaps the most efficient way to catch up is to present them as shorter reviews. I hope the shorter format will be helpful in highlighting for you three of my favorites.

Remember, one of the best pieces of advice for those writing memoirs is to read the work of others sharing their life stories.

Trove by Sandra Miller, Memoir, Truth, Buried TreasureSandra Miller‘s memoir, Trove: A Woman’s Search for Truth and Buried Treasure, is a National Book Award Winner. A reviewer might feel inclined to let that honor stand as its review. But you need to know that Miller’s search for buried treasure isn’t all about a large chest filled with gold.

Miller’s writing is colloquial and thus allows you to feel like you are sitting over coffee or tea chatting with a friend. As a result, Trove is hard to put down. Miller’s words are honest and heartfelt while filled with courage and authenticity. I found myself cheering her on in her search for the feeling we have all experienced at one time or another in our lives—the feeling of regret and confusion in middle age. This is one memoir that I have kept on my shelf of favorites. I highly recommend it.

 


Marcia Butler is the author of The Skin Above My Knee. She is also a  professional oboist and has played with many world-renowned orchestras and symphonies. And yet Butler has led a life filled with stresses in her childhood home resulting from a detached mother and an abusive father. The oboe represents her lifeline to sanity as she moves through other difficult relationships and bad choices.

Through her truthful narrative, Butler shows how music can offer the benefits of healing and strengthening the human soul.

My favorite line from Butler’s memoir is: “You love to feel stable within music’s velvety language.”

An inspiring story that shouldn’t be missed.

 


Anderson Cooper, Gloria Vanderbilt, Memoir, Life, Love, Loss


I rarely purchase memoirs written by celebrities, but the first few words of the synopsis of Anderson Cooper and Gloria Vanderbilt‘s The Rainbow Comes and Goes persuaded me to take a deeper look:

“A touching and intimate correspondence between Cooper and his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, offers timeless wisdom and a revealing glimpse into their lives.”

The correspondence referenced here happened as the result of a busy man and his 91-year-old mother agreeing to change their relationship by committing to a year-long conversation. This agreement came about following a brief but serious illness experienced by Vanderbilt.

One could describe their letters as a son’s love letters to his mother and a mother’s life lessons to her son. This memoir is beautiful and affectionate as well as a truthful celebration of life. A must-read!

 


These three memoirs have been waiting in the wings far too long. It is my pleasure to offer you good writing examples, perhaps even different formats such as that used by Cooper and Vanderbilt in sharing their story. All of these books can be found on Goodreads.

Happy reading and writing,

the-adelyne-script-font

 

Featured Image Attribution: Image by Ylanite Koppens from Pixabay

Note: Please see Disclosures for information regarding any links from which you might purchase a book or other materials.

Easter | A Day in the Life (Episode #2 Revised) — April 11, 2020

Easter | A Day in the Life (Episode #2 Revised)

I couldn’t come to grips with writing a new post this week. Something or Someone advised me to step back and take a self-care breather.

So, I’ve pulled this one from the 2015 archives, brushed it up a bit, and offer it to you on this Easter weekend in 2020. The memory is one of my childhood favorites. It always comes to mind during the week before Easter.


One Easter Sunday stands out in my mind above all others. The year 1950. I was around age four. Dressing up was a highlight to most little girls, especially around Easter.

Easter meant a visit from the Easter Bunny with baskets filled with eggs and jelly beans and always a chocolate bunny. And it almost always meant new clothes. This particular Easter meant a new pair of black patent leather Mary Janes. I was proud and excited to wear them. I thought Sunday would never come.

Finally, Sunday came. Up early to check out what was left by the Easter Bunny, eat breakfast, brush our teeth, and then dress for church.

That’s when it all fell apart. I heard Mama and Daddy talking. Well, maybe arguing.

Resurrection, Easter, Mary Janes, Spring

“She cannot wear those shoes. Can’t you see it snowed last night?”

Oh, no! Mama was telling Daddy I couldn’t wear my new shoes. If I hurried, I could get dressed and have my new shoes on before they finished.

“Honey, the snow isn’t that deep.” Hurray for Daddy! But Mama was having none of it.

Finally, Daddy saved the day. He told Mama if she felt it was too messy to wear the new shoes, he would carry me from the house to the car, from the car to the church, and reverse his plan when it was time to come home.

I’ll never forget wearing those shiny new shoes. But above all, I’ll never forget how loved I felt when Daddy reached down with his long arms, picked me up, and carried me to the car and into church that morning. I like to think it was Daddy’s way of showing me the unconditional love of God.

Easter, Resurrection, He is Risen
Via Ann Voskamp

Featured Image Attribution: Selling of my photos with StockAgencies is not permitted from Pixabay 

Memoir Writing Tips — September 25, 2019

Memoir Writing Tips

Whether you are beginning your memoir or have almost finished with that first draft, I hope the links listed below provide you with useful memoir writing tips. These links appeared on the Internet in recent days.

With autumn in full swing, it feels like a time for starting or restarting our writing projects. After working on a draft of my memoir for the last decade, I found the information tucked behind these links helpful.

Here goes:

 

Regarding links to books, see Disclosures.

Featured image from Pixabay

 

Car Guys | Day in the Life #11 — July 10, 2019

Car Guys | Day in the Life #11

Sunday started the cruise-in season for car guys. Last year was our first year to take part. We had purchased a 1964 Studebaker Commander (see above image) in May of 2018, and we wanted to show her off. Cars have interested Bob since he was a young boy. As his wife, I came along carrying my dad’s interest in cars and built on that history to enjoy Bob’s interests.
 
Studie is the child of one previous owner. The gentleman who owned her took meticulous care of her outside and inside. Not much, if any, restoration occurred during that initial ownership. Car records note a new paint job (in the original color) and new upholstery (close to the original). 
 
 
We never fail to receive a thumbs up along the highway, and then at the cruise-in a lot of “she’s a beauty.” Who knew you could feel as proud of a vintage vehicle as you do your three children? Well, it isn’t quite the same but similar.
 
Dad also had a love of Studebakers. So when Bob mentioned he’d found one for sale nearby, there was no question that we’d go take a look and kick some tires. I loved Dad’s Studebaker. It was where I got some of my best alone time with him.
 
Dad’s Studebaker was also a Commander but a few years older than ours. It was born in 1949.
 
The pictures below are of Dad at the wheel of his blue Studebaker. The other is of me on the first day of school (either first or second grade) waiting for my ride to school with Dad.
 
 
I find it amazing how threads of passion weave themselves through your life. Who knew as a young girl in first or second grade I’d be the wife of a man who, like my dad, had a special love of cars? Who knew I’d have fun going to cruise-ins?
 
Gratitude fills my heart for a lot of things shared in this story. My car guys are men so similar. A father like my Father in Heaven with plenty of unconditional love. And a  husband, also a good, hardworking man who loves and cares for his family. I stand in awe of the connections found across two generations in our family.

 

Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love by Dani Shapiro — June 6, 2019

Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love by Dani Shapiro

 
 
In my opinion, Dani Shapiro is an excellent writer. By reading her books, nonfiction or fiction, a reader can learn a great deal about writing. Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love is no different. 
 
A random DNA sample returns results which stun Shapiro and her husband. A lower percentage of Ashkenazi Jewish heritage in her background leaves Shapiro suspicious. Considering her parents’ backgrounds, the Ashkenazi percentage should have been higher. With both parents now dead, who could she ask about this possible aberration?
 
Shapiro immediately begins her search for the truth. But what is the truth she keeps asking herself? And who is there to help her? Her Aunt Shirley is one possible source. Although she can’t solve the mystery, Aunt Shirley consoles Shapiro and tells Shapiro that:
 
“confusion about the identity of her biological dad can be a door to discovering who a father really is.” (Emphasis added.)
 
I found the first half of the book difficult to read because of several repetitive portions. Shapiro’s obsession with the question of her “Jewishness” may result in repetitions. Her obsession causes her to worry over her identity within her family and in the larger world. The obsessions and the worrying are understandable, but they become monotonous. These chapters are short and moved along at a quick pace.
 
The second half of the memoir is more engaging. Shapiro shares her attempts to connect with her biological father. Research reveals similarities in appearance, posture, and traits and mannerisms. This story is woven with threads coming from multifaceted situations involving real people. At times, Shapiro belabors her points but she always comes back to the truth and history wrapped up in her story
 
Fans of her other books will enjoy reading how Shapiro coped with this unsettling find. It is clear to me that Inheritance will likely draw others who haven’t read any of her books.

 

 

Five Ingredients Memoir Writers Must Have — September 28, 2016

Five Ingredients Memoir Writers Must Have

 

Ingredients, you say?

Writing a good, perhaps great, memoir requires a map or recipe. Any good recipe has a combination of ingredients which in the end equal what the cook hopes to present to her dinner guests, or in terms of memoirists, what we want to present to the reading public.

While I’ve been resting and healing these past few months, I’ve had time to ponder the reworking of my memoir. What is it lacking? What have I left out? Could I have mixed those ingredients a little differently to get a better result?

Differences between memoir and other genre

The best way to review what ingredients are needed foremost is to look at how writing a memoir differs from other genre:

  1. Memoir is, to the best of the writer’s ability, true. Drawn from a particular part of one’s life or an issue from which something is learned and can be shared with others, the facts are important in detailing scenes, characters, and places. Some facts may not be clearly remembered and in this instance, a disclaimer can be made to that effect.
  2. Memoir is somewhat more difficult in creating the story arc than other genre, such as fiction, science fiction, historical fiction, etc., because memoirists are dealing with reality and not the imagination. In imagining a story and putting it down in words, one has a bit more leverage than the facts of a memoir often allow. However, a clever writer has the ability to make memoir as interesting and readable as first-rate fiction.
  3. The memoir writer has a story to tell, and he or she is the only one who can tell that story. It is the writer’s story to tell despite what might be believed or felt by others. In other genre, this is not the case.
  4. Writing memoir requires having a sifter on hand or the delete button handy. Once you have chosen your theme, you must be careful not to allow stories to randomly enter the narrative of your work. Although a story or snippet has importance in your life, you must be willing to leave some stories out, especially those irrelevant to your theme.
  5. Lee Gutkind in his book, You Can’t Make This Stuff Upprovides the following explanation of creative nonfiction which sets all nonfiction apart from other genre. A good memoirist will keep this definition in my mind.

The banner of the magazine I’m proud to have founded and I continue to edit, Creative Nonfiction, defines the genre simply, succinctly, and accurately as ‘true stories well told.’ And that, in essence, is what creative nonfiction is all about. (p. 6)

The five ingredients or components listed above will produce a good end result. This isn’t to imply there are not other components necessary in writing memoir. But I believe these are basic to the nature and quality of good memoir.

Of necessity is writing as much as often as you can. I recently met with a writing coach to discuss returning to my manuscript after almost a year of not touching it. We agreed that two hours each day, at my best time of day, five days per week would be adequate to accomplish the next phase of my memoir. Also helpful is an accountability partner or group. I am using the Facebook group, ROW 80: A Round of Words in 80 Days.

In addition to writing, you should read, read, and read some more–the memoirs of others, creative nonfiction essays, books on creative nonfiction writing. And don’t forget classes available to you on the topic.

What are you doing to keep your recipe for writing memoir balanced? Any suggestions to offer? Feel free to share in the discussion in the comment section below.

Image attribution: Ella’s Kitchen Company Limited via Flickr