Life in the Slow Lane

Contemplating life, faith, words, and memories

How Does Counseling Relate to Memoir Writing? | Guest Post by Jerry Waxler with Book Giveaway — November 12, 2014

How Does Counseling Relate to Memoir Writing? | Guest Post by Jerry Waxler with Book Giveaway

Jerry WaxlerToday please welcome my guest, Jerry Waxler, author of Memoir Revolution and several other booksJerry shares with us the relationship between counseling and memoir writing. Jerry, thank you for being here today and helping lift the fog on the question posed. And thank you to WOW! Women on Writing for hosting Jerry’s blog tour.

Welcome, Jerry!

This is a terrific question, because it relates directly to the reason I wrote Memoir Revolution. I think that memoir writing is one of the most exciting developments in psychology in the last 100 years. And, unlike other systems, it wasn’t invented by a genius or by a team of researchers. Instead, the use of memoir writing as a form of healing was developed by a groundswell of individuals intent on finding the stories of their lives. Here’s how I came to this understanding.

When I had outgrown childhood and realized I was going to need to become an adult, in addition to all the usual challenges of picking a career and finding a relationship, I had many emotional problems. I was depressed, confused about how to relate to people, what I really wanted to do and so on.

After I settled into steady employment, I started on a long-term commitment to talk therapy. These weekly discussions helped me put in words the things that had been bothering me. Ten years into this process, I switched to a different therapist and I had to introduce myself all over again. Naturally, I attempted to reconstruct the bits and pieces I had been explaining for years. After the second or third session, my new therapist said, “Have you ever put all that on a timeline?” I couldn’t grasp what she was saying. Not only had I never put the events of my life on a timeline. This was the first time the notion even occurred to me.

“How would that work?” I asked.

She grabbed a piece of paper and drew a horizontal line. Underneath the line she listed a sequence of years, and said “write a few sentences about each major event and place your descriptions along this line.” The method was so simple. Why had I never thought of it?

So I went home and listed key bits of information, such as the year I went to college, the year I was in a riot, the year I moved to California to become a hippie. On paper, the sequence shifted from a collection of confusing memories to the skeleton of an interesting story. For the first time, I considered the possibility that with a little more work, I could turn that whole mess of memories into a sensible sequence.

Eventually, I went to graduate school and earned a Master’s degree in counseling psychology. By fifty-two, I was the one who sat and listened to clients, providing for them the same survival tool that my therapists had provided me. However, based on my experience, I wished I could find a way to help them collect the whole journey into a continuous narrative. With a chronological understanding, perhaps they would be able to feel more whole, just as I had done. But my education as a psychotherapist did not include such a method, and I had not yet come across the world of memoirs, so I forged ahead with hourly sessions.

Around that time, to increase my writing ability, I joined a writing group near my home in Bucks County Pennsylvania where aspiring writers could drop in anytime to talk with other writers, or to take classes. The reputation of the group grew, and people drove 50 and 100 miles to participate. This group experience introduced me to the fact that writing does not need to be isolated. When writers come together, magic happens. I realized that if I could teach writing workshops, I would be able to be around writers a lot more.

From this experience, I began to develop self-help workshops for writers. My notes for those workshops evolved over a period of years to the book I now call How to Become a Heroic Writer. To help writers become more courageous, I developed a technique I called “story of self” in which I explore ways to see yourself as a writer. I began to tap into this notion of “story of self” as a self-help tool, and realized the connection between the story we tell ourselves, and the way we see each other.

From the first time I took a memoir class, I was hooked on the potential for memoir writing as a way of healing. I recognized in memoirs that everything I had learned through my years of self-help, the wisdom I had gained through my own journey, even the experiences of spirituality and love, could be contained in a holistic story of myself.

By studying other people’s memoirs, teaching memoir writers, and continuing to develop my own story-of-self, I have come to appreciate the power of memoirs to provide a simple method for anyone to develop a keener, clearer understanding of their life experience, draw lessons, heal wounds, and eventually through effort, craft, and polish, share themselves with readers.

Meet Jerry Waxler:

JERRY WAXLER teaches memoir writing at Northampton Community College, Bethlehem, PA, online, and around the country. His Memory Writers Network blog offers hundreds of essays, reviews, and interviews about reading and writing memoirs. He is on the board of the Philadelphia Writer’s Conference and National Association of Memoir Writers and holds a BA in Physics and an MS in Counseling Psychology.

You can read more about Jerry Waxler here . . .

Connect with Jerry here:


About the Book:

Memoir Revolution is Jerry Waxler’s beautifully written story as he integrates it with his deep and abiding knowledge and passion for story. In the 1960s, Jerry Waxler, along with millions of his peers, attempted to find truth by rebelling against everything. After a lifetime of learning about himself and the world, he now finds himself in the middle of another social revolution. In the twenty-first century, increasing numbers of us are searching for truth by finding our stories. In Memoir Revolution, Waxler shows how memoirs link us to the ancient, pervasive system of thought called The Story. By translating our lives into this form, we reveal the meaning and purpose that eludes us when we view ourselves through the lens of memory. And when we share these stories, we create mutual understanding, as well. By exploring the cultural roots of this literary trend, based on an extensive list of memoirs and other book, Waxler makes the Memoir Revolution seem like an inevitable answer to questions about our psychological, social and spiritual well-being.


Paperback: 190 Pages
Genre: Nonfiction
Publisher: Neuralcoach Press; 1 edition (April 9, 2013)
ISBN-10: 0977189538

Available at Amazon.



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Memoir Writers’ Resources Series | Jerry Waxler, His Blog and His Book — February 18, 2014

Memoir Writers’ Resources Series | Jerry Waxler, His Blog and His Book

This is the fifth post in this series, which has an infinite number of parts. Therefore, there is no “Part 1 of a #;” it will simply continue until the well dries up. Previous posts are listed below.

* * *

If you have not heard of Jerry Waxler, we need to correct that with this post.

It is my pleasure today to share with you the excellent resources from Jerry’s blog and books, as well as the wealth of information contained in Jerry’s expertise not only as a writer but also in his roles of therapist and teacher.

I first became acquainted with Jerry when I joined the Lifewriters Forum founded by Sharon Lippincott and Jerry. The forum provides a safe environment for memoir writers and story tellers alike to come together to share their thoughts, writings, and offer tips and lessons learned.

The more I read of Jerry’s new posts and replies on the forum the more intrigued I became about just who Jerry Waxler was. It seemed there was a lot going on in his mind and he wanted to share it all to the extent he could.

Enter Jerry’s blog, Memory Writers Network. Here I began to get a real sense of where Jerry had been, the path he had followed, and the current work he was doing in all these various communities where he was speaking, teaching, and writing, not to mention helping others along the way. I strongly encourage you to visit Memory Writers Network, if you have not done so. Jerry offers well written essays on the work others are doing and have done.

Additionally Jerry shares his own story and discusses in those posts his beliefs and thoughts on memory and evoking our memories as well as story structure and writing. From time to time, Jerry will review another writer’s book, and current count on his blog shows a total of at least 85 memoirs reviewed to date.

Then there are the works Jerry himself has written. Jerry’s first book, titled Learn to Write Your Memoir in Four Weeks, is available for purchase at this link. Learn to Write is a step-by-step guide in how to reclaim your memories and begin to record them, including techniques to organize your story and present it in an interesting way.

Most recently, Jerry authored The Memoir Revolution: A Social Shift that Uses Your Story to Heal, Connect, and InspireIt is available in paperback and Kindle versions via Amazon at this link.

Previously, I reviewed The Memoir Revolution on this blog. You can read my review here.

My observations and opinions in my review still stand, and I find myself referring to Jerry’s work in this book often while writing my memoir.

With Jerry’s combination of blog posts, teaching sessions as listed on his blog, his involvement in communities like Lifewriters Forum, and his own published works, he offers the memoir writer of today a vast array of resources to draw on.

I strongly encourage you to visit Jerry’s blog many times–it takes a while to absorb it all. However, Jerry is well-organized. For example, there is an index available to the essays/posts he has written and interviews he has conducted with other writers, teachers, and authorities in the genre.

Q4U: Is there something you’re struggling with in your memoir writing? Have you reached a point where you are questioning your own ability to write memoir? Or is there something else bothering you about your writing?

Previous Posts in the Series:

  1. The Memoir Project by Marion Roach Smith
  2. Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott
  3. The Power of Memoir: How to Write Your Healing Story by Linda Joy Myers
  4. A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway
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