Today I’m visiting with Mary Gottschalk on her blog with an essay I prepared on the topic of parenting during divorce. My essay dovetails with a novel-in-progress Mary is working on where just such a situation is making life difficult for a mother and her 11-year old daughter. I do hope you will come and visit Mary’s blog and join in the discussion.
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Parenting sounds simple when reading the definition found in most dictionaries. Most sources define parenting as the “rearing of children” or as simple as “the act or process of becoming a parent.” In most instances, it is not as easy as these definitions imply.
Specifically, let’s think about the parent faced with divorce and the impact on children involved. During divorce, emotions rise and conversations become heated. Children are innocent bystanders witnessing these emotional changes and exchanges unless the parent or parents make every effort to control them.
Depending on the age of children involved, parents are encouraged to keep communications open. Honest responses to questions will help keep them and you healthy during this time of change.
A personal note here may be helpful. My divorce occurred when my son was a little past his first birthday, too young to pick up much from conversations or emotions. However, when my husband and his first wife began the process of separation and divorce, their children were six and five, a daughter and son, respectively. They told the children very little about what was happening and why. Read more here . . .
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TOMORROW: My interview with Linda Hoye, author of Two Hearts: A Journey Through Grief to Gratitude. Please join us to learn more about Linda, her book and her future plans.
Thank you for sharing. Divorce is never easy, but as a child of divorce, I know that honesty really is the best policy. Our family was very hurt by deliberate secret-keeping and sweeping under the rug. Pain happens, so might as well be honest about it!
Lindsey, thanks for stopping by an sharing your thoughts as a child of divorce. Honesty certainly is the best policy, as we’re taught as children, but adults seem to forget that when they’re in the driver’s seat, don’t they? I hope that you’ve been able to move on and enjoy life in spite of those hurts and pains.
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