What parent can imagine living through the horrors of a child’s battle with bipolar disorder ending in suicide several years after diagnosis and attempted treatment? Likely no one’s imagination works at this level.
Madeline Sharples, author of Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother’s Memoir of Living with Her Son’s Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His Suicide, has lived this nightmare. And amazingly, she and her family survived this traumatic period.
Sharples’ memoir chronicles her elder son, Paul’s descent into the terrors of bipolar disorder and his eventual suicide.
In writing her story, Sharples addresses issues faced not only by her family but also by many other families. In so doing, she offers insight into her own experience and provides a frank and open discussion of some of her most painful moments. In her own words, she tells us:
My goal in writing this book is to tell my story in the most truthful and real terms possible. Otherwise it won’t be of any use to anyone – including me.
Sharples has done exactly that by sharing an account which includes a mix of advice, education about bipolar disorder, a desire to remove the stigma surrounding bipolar disorder and similar mental illnesses, and hope for families living with similar tragedies. She digs deep into her own story to share her belief that each victim in such a tragedy has choices: a choice to move on, a choice to take care of him- or herself, and a choice to be the best husband, wife, father, mother, child possible.
Because of Sharples’ gift of descriptive detail, her reader learns a great deal about Paul from infancy. The reader meets a precocious, piano playing, curly-headed and happy toddler, and several photographs underscoring this part of Paul’s life are included. Later photos share a Paul who is happily smiling whether alone or with a relative. These photos connect the reader to Paul in a visual way, allowing you to watch Paul grow and thrive.
Growing into adolescence, Paul showed an innate ability to connect with children, experienced continued successes with the piano, and developed a knack for repairing computers. All the goodness of this son shines through. If not for these details about Paul highlighting the goodness in him, Leaving the Hall Light On could only be classified as an angry and furious assault by a distraught mother who is not only heartbroken but also confused and hurt by Paul’s choices.
Madeline Sharples began writing her journey with Paul through poetry. Not always a fan of poetry, this reviewer became intrigued by the author’s poems and appreciated an exposure to poetry that actually spoke to the heart. Perhaps that is because the reviewer is a mother. Yet one realizes in her poetry as well as her memoir narrative Sharples has shared her journey using raw, intense emotion coupled with truth and love. Her story is alive and beats with a heart torn asunder and yet healing.
Although difficult to read at times, I found myself unable to put this book down. Others have mentioned needing to step away and come back. I felt drawn into a relationship with Paul, his parents and his younger brother Ben, as if I were a good friend standing in the shadows as this nightmare played out. This is due in part to Sharples’ unique style of writing – comfortable, conversational, and filled with truth and emotion. I wanted to be there for them all. I needed to know where this journey took them.
As the stepmother of a young woman diagnosed with bipolar disorder and complicated by attention deficit hyperactive disorder, perhaps my fascination was also rooted in the continuing search by our family for answers. Madeline Sharples provided some answers for us, and for this reason alone I highly recommend this book to families in similar situations.
Because of her unique use of narrative and poetry and her treatment in this family’s story of not only her own emotional trauma but also that of her husband and their son Ben, I recommend this as a memoir worth reading as a unique example of superior memoir writing.
Madeline Sharples has shown those of us writing memoir the way to successful storytelling based in truth written from the heart.
* * *
Madeline Sharples studied journalism in high school and college and wrote for the high school newspaper, but only started to fulfill her dream to work as a creative writer and journalist late in life. Her memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother’s Memoir of Living with Her Son’s Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His Suicide, was released in a hardback edition in 2011 and has just been released in paperback and eBook editions by Dream of Things. It tells the steps she took in living with the loss of her oldest son, first and foremost that she chose to live and take care of herself as a woman, wife, mother, and writer. She hopes that her story will inspire others to find ways to survive their own tragic experiences.
She also co-authored Blue-Collar Women: Trailblazing Women Take on Men-Only Jobs (New Horizon Press, 1994), co-edited the poetry anthology, The Great American Poetry Show, Volumes 1 and 2, and wrote the poems for two photography books, The Emerging Goddess and Intimacy (Paul Blieden, photographer). Her poems have also appeared online and in print magazines.
Madeline’s articles appear regularly in the Naturally Savvy, PsychAlive, Aging Bodies, and Open to Hope. She also posts at her blogs, Choices and at Red Room and is currently writing a novel. Madeline’s mission since the death of her son is to raise awareness, educate, and erase the stigma of mental illness and suicide in hopes of saving lives.
Madeline and her husband of forty plus years live in Manhattan Beach, California, a small beach community south of Los Angeles. Her younger son Ben lives in Santa Monica, California with his wife Marissa.
Sherry, your comments are extending the reach and impact of Madeline’s book. If I hadn’t already read and reviewed, I’d definitely be wanting to now. We are each touched in different ways. by this story, depending on our situations. That’s the beauty of memoir!
Thank you, Sharon. I always appreciate your kind words about my book and the beauty of memoir.
Sharon, I consider your words high praise. I have read and been awed by some of your reviews on Story Circle Network and offer so much wisdom and guidance to those of us writing our memoirs. Thanks so much for stopping by today.
Sherrey, I agree with Sharon – this is a tantalizing review of an obviously great book!
Thank you. I hope you will read my book. I’d love to know your thoughts.
Belinda, thanks for stopping by and reading this review. Do pick it up — it’s a good example of the memoir genre.
Dear Sherrey,Thank you so much for your wonderful review of Leaving the Hall Light On. It is so thorough and sensitive and caring. I very much appreciate your taking the time to read and review it. It is such an honor to be on your site today. All my best to you.
Madeline, I’m so glad you’re pleased with this review. It was definitely my pleasure to read and learn from you at the same time. Ironically, as you know, we are grieving for a different reason but there are sections in the book where you speak of hope and moving forward that are helping us as we go through this process. Now, to move forward and keep writing!
Sherrey, You have delved deeply into Madeline’s stunning memoir in a way that makes reading it a memorable experience; one that leaves the reader changed and enlightened. Like Sharon, if I hadn’t already read it, I would feel compelled to do so after reading your heartfelt review which highlights the power of memoir to heal and transform. Thank you!
Kathy, thank you! I’m honored and pleased you found my review so compelling. It was from the heart and as I’ve told Madeline above, some of her sections on hope and moving forward are helping us right now as we move through our grief. I’m so happy that I’ve found so many good friends in the memoir writing community!
I’m reading Madeline’s book now and your review resonates. It’s a powerful story.
Yes, Madeline’s book is powerful. So glad you’ve picked it up to read. I enjoyed her inclusion of other family members in the grieving and healing process.
Just like Sharon said, if l hadn’t read Madeleine’s book, l would have none no peace now until l got it. I stumbled upon it on my own. I was searching for non-fictions related to Bipolar and or mental illness. My brother and l and maybe others in my ‘family’, have ‘issues’ whether diagnosed or not yet. I was hoping to do a review of her book on my blog but reading yours now, l don’t think l am ‘worthy’ to so do. I will with your nod, reblog your review on that day.
I am once more glad to be learning so much and meeting people like you all. Funny and maybe sad, but my e-family may soon mean more than my ‘blood family’ in several respects.
Cheers to us all, there is strength in what remains.
Kind regards, Marie
Marie, do not question your worth by comparing yourself to what others can do. I am certain you could write a beautiful review of Madeline’s book, and I hope that you will. Thank you for reading my review and finding worth in it, but you and I are uniquely designed and different. You can do this!
Thanks for this and l know you know the power and meaning of what you wrote.
l will do my best and yet link your beautiful review too.
Kind regards, Marie
Now that sounds more like the Marie I believe in! 🙂
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