Seeking Quiet and Invisibility

"It's time to fall back in love with your artand practice invisibility."
~ Don McAllister of Linchpin Bloggers

Not too long ago I wrote a series of posts on time management.  Wondering how in the writing world I could or would find time to build a platform, find my tribe and keep up with social media AND write my memoir.  Sadly, I have found the answer.  The source of the answer has been a huge cost to my family and me in two ways.

First, a vicious and devastating illness trapped my husband's brother in a rapid cognitive and physical decline.  We spent many miles and hours traveling to help with his care beginning in January 2012 until his passing on November 19th.  And then we spent about three weeks after that assisting his wife with details of a service, the estate, and much more.

About the same time, we learned that the oldest of our three children, a son aged 41, has cancer.  A highly treatable form, testicular cancer, and yet the word "cancer" itself is unsettling, unnerving, unwanted.  Our emotions are still tied in bundles as we await a visit with an oncologist.

During the weeks since November 19th, I've had lots of time to think. While away from home at that time, our schedule didn't allow for computers.  It meant a forced stepping away from blogging, emails, social networking, writing. Upon returning home, sadness has kept me away from all this during the last month. It's amazing when forced to give up all these cyber-tools how comfortable we can become without them.

I'm not certain just yet what God is trying to tell me, and if you know me at all, you know my faith is in Him and His Word.  What I do know is the season of my life is changing.  I can feel it, but I can't yet wrap my arms around it.  One thing is for certain -- God wants more of me than I have given.

There are things in our family order that need to be tended to and I need to be there for those who need me.  Simply said, I need to be the wife and mother I signed on to be long ago.

In order to listen more closely to God's guidance in this part of my life, I have decided to grant myself a season of retreat.  For the next three months -- January 1, 2013 - March 31, 2013 -- this blog will, for the most part, be inactive.  Starting now, I'm turning off comments.  I am eliminating such distractions as social media and blog comments from my days.

My season of grief and sorrow is fading but I am uncertain about my future as a blogger.  During the time that I am not here, I hope to continue work on two projects:

  • Drafting my memoir
  • Research into the orphanage system of this country during the late 19th and early 20th century in preparation for a book about my father's life as an orphan

In addition, I have registered for a writing workshop, Beachside Writers 2013, in Yachats, Oregon (March 1-3, 2013).  A place to learn from experienced writers, a place to meet new writing friends, and a quiet place by the Pacific to reflect.

For the time being, I hope that some of the friendships I have made through my writing interests will continue.  You my contact me via email, or find me on this blog's Facebook page, but otherwise I need to retreat into a quiet space and time with My Master and listen for His Words to direct my next steps.